Kovixen

I'm sure anyone who has ever talked to me about the book Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities by Alexander Robbins knows what I think about it. The book is an awful account of what this woman thinks goes on in sororities. It was nothing like my experience at all, and she only looked at 4 women in two different sororities at one school, so it's not the best cross section of what is out there. She made many assumptions and threw in all the bad press she could find. Of course, a lot of the bad press came from non NPC Greek organizations (who are very different than us) and from a lot of bad research. For instance, she criticized one sorority chapter (of my mother-in-law's organization) because the sisters didn't like how one of them was a virgin so they had her raped by some guy. Ok, if this was true, it'd be awful. But the truth is that this didn't happen. The girl and her mother who claimed that it did were sued by the organization and LOST because they made the whole thing up. They were just trying to get money and in the process giving us a bad name.

Robbins continues to "out" as many of the sorority rituals as she can find. Thankfully, there wasn't much that she could find on my sorority, and what she did find was wrong. But I still think it's wrong. If you are not Greek, you may not be able to understand what it is like to have loyalty to an organization and over 100,000 women. But we have respect for our organizations, what they stand for and the reasons they were formed, and we love our organizations in ways that are not well understood from the outside. Our secrets are OURS, if someone is interested in knowing more, maybe she should join a Greek organization herself. I can't help but wonder if Robbins didn't get a bid to the sorority she wanted to join, and she wrote this book as revenge.

A new book was just released by Viking that is written in a much better voice and is not nearly as scandalous. This book is Smashed by Koren Zailckas. I read it during my vacation (Barnes and Noble employees can borrow hard cover books for free, a great program), as I had heard a few mutterings on Greek Chat about the book and its portrayal of sororities and felt I should educate myself. Overall, it wasn't too bad. She started drinking when she was 14, and when she rushed, she knowingly joined the sorority that was notorious for their drinking, a fact they promoted. Therefore, when she blames the sorority for her drinking problems (which she only does once or twice), I find it hard to feel sorry for her. She knew what she was getting herself into. Regardless of what her sorority was doing, I feel she still could have gotten control over herself and stopped at any time. I think she just needed some self discipline.

However, I was very surprised at some of the actions of the sorority. They hazed pretty badly, although I wasn't terribly surprised since the NE region of the country is the worst at hazing. But her initiation included her sitting in a shower with her head between her knees, blindfold, for over an hour, heavy metal playing in the background. I have no idea which sorority she joined, but I promise you it was one that was started a hundred years ago or more, and I doubt her founders had that in mind when they wrote their initiation ceremony. I wonder if she was ever even officially initiated. The sorority also had an awful, potentially nonexistent watch care program. Where were the other sisters who should have noticed Koren's problem and helped out? More importantly, where the hell were the advisors to the sorority? Did they even have any? I've been an advisor to one or more chapters of my own sorority since I graduated, and I know that we would never allow a girl to go through what she did, nor would I allow a chapter to talk about alcohol during rush, conduct such a weird initiation, haze, and focus all their energy on alcohol. It is the responsibility of the Chapter Advisor and other advisors to make sure the rules are followed and that no one does anything stupid to hurt themselves or others. We are responsible for making sure our sisters are well taken care of, that they are safe. Overall, I'm shocked over this section of the book. It is obvious that Koren is not a member of my organization because I know enough about Syracuse University and our chapter there to know better, and I am extremely happy she isn't. And thank god she had the good sense to change the name of her sorority for her book so that other members of her organization nationwide and beyond are not hurt by her portrayal, however honest it was.